Match Report : F.C.K.F.C vs The Jasper Warriors
Hello and welcome to FCK TV. Today's the 3rd of July and I am A. Jacques( A jack ass ) proudly bringing to you today's club news. I will be covering the details of our recent match against The Jasper Warriors, transfer rumours and of course training ground scuff-ups. =P
The line up for today against the Warriors was : Elohim, Bryan, Zhao Loong, Rakesh and Choon Kit. Its was an open game which produced a number of goals and of course INCIDENTS. But unfortunately and deservately, we lost by a narrow 5-3 margin. Our first goal was headed onto the upright and into the net by Bryan after a brilliant delivery into the area by Zhao Loong from a corner. Our second resulted from a scuffle which saw Bryan passing the ball to Rakesh even though he was on the ground. Rakesh went on to slot it home sweetly. Our third began from a counter-attack which saw Zhao Loong one v one against the keeper, Linus. But he unselfishly passed the ball to his right into the path of our captain which he calmly slotted into an open net.
Other major incidents during the match include our captain missing an open goal ( Whats New? ) and getting hit on the face by Jasper's shot. ( He was keeper for a while btw ) Bryan also screwed 3-4 good chances, Zhao Loong too accidentally threw the ball onto Elohim's arm when he tried to counter-attack while he was keeper. That resulted in a penalty which our opponents converted past Bryan. Last but not least, Ming Ze getting hit in the ass by 1 of Bryan's powerful rams. ( Ouch! )
But nonetheless, a great performance from our central midfielder, Zhao Loong, and therefore he was awarded with a can of coke for his man-of-the-match performance.
Our captain and Zhao Loong were interviewed after the match.
Choon Kit said," It really was a poor performance by me and the team. We hardly got our passing game right and ended up playing via route 1--long balls. As coach and captain, I will continue to train my team and find new tactics for our next match. Hopefully we can put up a better show next time around."
A. Jacques,"So are you planning to keep your missed open goals tally on the rise? Or will you try to improvise your shooting technique?"
Choon Kit replied,"Me missing open goals is not the main issue here. Whats definitely more important is to successfully train the team and discover a match tactic that will work."
Well obviously, he's missing the point. Is he is trying to say that Paul Robinson can successfully coach a team of goalkeepers how to catch th ball even if Paul himself cant? So why isnt Choon Kit coaching himself?
After being presented with the can of coke, Zhao Loong added in honour,"Thank you..Thank you arh. You very kind. Today I play very good leh. Got 2 assists. I pro arh?? Haha. Next time I will also play well and get a free coke. Can save $0.50. Yays."
Thats has to be a very complacent and awkward way to talk to the world. Moving on...
There has been some transfer speculation about the employment of 2 other players, Jitesh and Sarravanan. This was brought up as Jasper has raised his price tag by 1 million to a massive 1.8million. So will Choon Kit be able to fork out the cash to secure his services? Will his small and pathetic letter-writing company have sufficient funds? I guess not.
There has also been some scuffles on the training ground between Arvindh and Rakesh. Apparently when the team were jogging, Arvindh was irritated by Rakesh's face and he went up to him and said," Hey, I dont like nerds in my team. It makes me feel irritated. By the way, the smell and sight of them makes me want to puke too." Rakesh then retaliated by chanting his Additional Mathematics formulas.
Arvindh got so irritated that he took off his bip, threw it on Rakesh's face and stormed away from the training ground, shaking his butt intensely as if to say " NaNaNi ...PooPoo''.
This explains the absence of box-to-box and versertile midfielder, Arvindh, since the begining of the campaign. He plans to boycott matches and training sessions till he feels better.
Thats all for today. I am A. Jacques bringing to you reliable coverage of FCKFC news. Now off to my pimp industry...