Team FCK! CHOON KIT CHOON KIT! a world class team in a world class setting



Tuesday, July 01, 2008

"Eh, that girl dam hot leh. Want to hire her or not for agency? All the guys sure like one. Then can earn big money.... Hahahahaha...(5 secs later).. Oh I'm sorry Mr Fong, I thought you were Mr Kok. Dont ask..I was just saying those things for fun..... Nononono I'm not a pimp. I work for you full time. I swear....Okokok, I'll get back to work.
Ok, its the 1st of June 2008 and I am A. Jacques( a.k.a 'A jack ass" ) the official news reporter hired by F.C.K. Today's my first day on the job and I assure everyone that I will provide up to date results and transfer rumours regarding F.C.K.F.C....
Just recently, team FCK took part in a match against The Jasper Warriors. Its was a gruelling encounter, but unfortunately we lost 4-1. You know why we lose???!!! You know why we lose??!!! Firstly, its all because of that Rakesh. He think he want to pose India during World Cup 1950...He play bare footed!! On concrete ground leh!! I think he study until siao liao...
Secondly, its partly Elohim's fault also la. He keep saying the he cannot see the floor, cause the Sun very bright. WTF he thinking?? Next time ask him go play at night better (nocturnal player). Lets see if he has night vision eyes...
That Bryan also bastard one... He think his shooting very pro. One time get the ball only want to ram at keeper. Next time better ask him go play with rams..then he can ram or maybe 'bleat' all he likes. (BTW..rams are sheep)
That bloody Alvin also dam playboy one. You know arh...when the game is running..he suddenly go whistle at girl.. then leave the goal open. Because of his acts, we conceded 2 goals!! Next time ask him join my company be pimp better! ( Oops I hope Mr Fong didnt hear that ).
Last and always least. Its all beacuse of the team captain himself!! Want to pose Torres also fail... Want to control ball also accidentally use hand.. Want to take penalty also miss the target.. Want to walk also fall down.. Want to sit down butt also can sink through the floor.. Want to score open goal also can MISS!!! WTF , this team is screwed up.....
OK thats all for match reports.

Now moving on to the transfer rumours.... After playing that match against The Jasper Warriors. Our scouts ( not Loong that kind of scouts ) have watched the performances of Jasper Kim the captain of the Warriors. Having consulted F.C.K letter writing company an 80cent bid has been confirmed to try and lure him to The Astro Turf (our home ground). Whether the bid will be accepted, we still do not know. Lets hope we will be able to add on to our 8-man squad.

Finally moving on to condom stuff....Oops I mean random stuff, Rakesh suffered a minor blow to the head while preparing for the match against The Jasper Warriors. Elohim, the 'blind man' ( cause he always cannot see the floor), apparently bounced the ball on the egde of a stair and it flew up to the next flight and hit Rakesh on the head. The ball continued to fly and it hit the noticeboard TWICE before finally landing in Elohim's hands. A real life pinball machine , I presume.

Thats all for today... By the way, P.C.K ( I did not type wrongly) , Phua Chu Kang, has agreed to advertise for F.C.K's letter writing company on this blog. He says :" You know arh, that F.C.K. letter writing skills very good arh.. Hehehehe. I want to complain about my arm pit very smelly so I wrote a letter to the Community Centre. A few days later, I got back a reply and it said ' Go and kick the bucket'. So I got a bucket and continuously kicked it.. but I accidentally kicked too hard and it bounced off the wall and kana my head. So I fainted. When I woke up I was in this cloudy place, filled with angels and gold. I felt like I was in heaven!'' P.C.K later said that he was very grateful to F.C.K's letter writing skills, but unfortunately he didnt know he was dead. I guess he was mesmorised by the beauty of heaven.
Thats all folks.

6:00 PM

SQUAD;


Captain + Coach + Owner :
Fong Torres Choon Kit (Striker)(Professional Dummy)

Attk. Finale:
Dummy at open goal.(Misses open goal.Inceases teammate moral greatly knowing that they would not be lousiest in team)


Item Skill:
Empower (empowers his new shoes to give him god-like kick for 1 kick)

Def. Finale: Captains pressence(Pressures opponent by making weird movements and noises.Has no other practical uses.)

Member :
Kong Scholes Zhao Loong (Seondary Striker)

Attk. Finale: Backheel (backheels ball catching opponent.. maybe even teammate unaware)

Def. Finale: Goalkeeper's dribble (when in goalkeeper mode,he would suddenly dribble the ball forward, becoming a Striker, increasing teams overall ATTK while leaving goal post open)

Member :
Alvin Cech der Sar Kang ( Goalkeeper )

Attk. Finale: A Strong kick (A strong kick with all his might with no hesitaion. May injure opponent keeper and has a great chance to miss)

Def. Finale: Flying legs (His legs would suddenly stretch at impossible angle upwards blocking air balls)

Member :
Elohim 'lekgwathi lucky' Chor (GOD) (Defender/Keeper)

Attk. Finale: Fake Step over (Does stepover BEHIND the teammate with ball stunning opponents looking at its pure stupidity)

Def. Finale: Hand of GOD (Prays for help from God and does a rare catch or save that is unexpected, living up to his name)

Member :
Bryan Carragher Gerrard Wong (Defender/Centre Mid)

Attk. Finale: A strong kick with accuracy(Shoots with addidas predator shoe with power and accuracy)

Def. Finale: Crunching tackles(Would slide opponents dribbling towards goal)

Member :
Arvindh Fabregas Rai (Centre Mid)

Attk. Finale: Summon darkness (summons ancient 'punjabi' soccer skills hidden within turning him slightly darker after use)

Def. Finale: Charge of darkness(does a frenzy charge from the frontlines, seemingly merging in the shadows unoticed for a while, in an attempt to defend)

Member :
Rakesh Van Persie Rai (Winger)

Attk. Finale: Summon shoes (The usually barefooted player summons powerful soccer shoes and OWNS.. only usable on friday)

Def. Finale: 'camo' (Camos in the darkness during corners, lurking behind GK, reappears suddenly to block ball)

Member:
Isaac 'Chiongster' Cheong(2nd goalkeeper)

Attk. Finale: Bide ( Laughs and laughs and laughs until he turns red and suddenly unleashes this internal energy and kicks)

Def. Finale: Chiong (Unleashes his hidden family skill chionging, sprinting at attackers, increases acceleration by 100%, good for keeper's Strike and Slide tatics, taking ball away before opponent realises.

 Member :
Aaron Pastor Chua (Club's personal pastor/priest)

Attk. Finale:Gods voice (Does a desperate prayer to GOD to boost his power .. attacking with ear piercing screams given by GOD)

Def. Finale: Call for help (Shrieks in a high pitch voice only heard by team members increasing their speed to aid in defence)


STATISTICS;

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This feature started since 12 july 2008 to 9 October 2008

Team's Record;

Wins --- 7
Draws --- 5
Losts --- 3
Goals scored --- 59
Goals conceded --- 44

Last 5 Results;

vs The 4S1 Gang (draw 2-2)
vs Justin Mavericks (won 6-4)
vs The 4S1 gang (draw 4-4)
vs ST STormers (5-5 *any mistake due to bad refreeing please inform us) vs The KIM Knights (Jasper warriors evolution) (won 3-2)

GAMES PLAYED;

Bryan --- 19
Elohim --- 19
Choon Kit --- 18
Rakesh --- 14
Zhao Loong--- 13
Alvin --- 11
Aaron --- 8
Arvindh --- 5
Issac --- 3

TOP SCORERS;

Bryan --- 22
Rakesh --- 15
Zhao Loong --- 9
Arvindh --- 8
Choon Kit --- 7
Alvin --- 4
Issac --- 2
Aaron --- 2
Elohim --- 1

ASSISTS;

Bryan --- 14
Rakesh --- 11
Zhao Loong --- 8
Arvindh --- 7
Alvin --- 4
Choon Kit --- 3
Issac --- 1
Elohim --- 0
Aaron --- 0

SHOTS BLOCKED;

Elohim --- 18
Rakesh --- 10
Alvin --- 8
Bryan --- 6
Issac --- 2
Zhao Loong --- 2
Aaron --- 1
Arvindh --- 0
Choon Kit --- 0

OPEN GOALS MISSED;

Choon Kit --- 5
Zhao Long --- 1
The rest --- 0

INJURIES;

1)Choon Kit ----- Got hit in head and belly twice by Elohim and Jasper Kim respectively
(still can play)
----- Got hit by Alvin Kang in the hand during corner practice(still can play)
----- constantly healing but gets injured once and then(still can play)
2)Zhao long ----- Brain problem, (probaly never ever heal, no signs of improvement, but still can play)
3)Elohim ----- Temporary Asthma (out for 1 week, still strong and ever out again)
4)AK ----- Kicked on the face and attacked on the ear( out for a month, but still can play)

MAKE ME HAPPY;

1)Sign Jasper Kim for $1.80!
2)Keep as many players as possible
3)Beat Banglah Fc / Jasper Warriors
4)Help Choon Kit to become the next Torres
5)Create a team Jersey
6)Buying "FCK need U" badges for team to wear in place of school badge

LINKS;

Kong(scholes)zhao loong(not recomended, Lowers your IQ)


Bryan Carragher Gerrard Wong(not recomended, not updated)


Aaron Chua..may God bless us (recomended for christians)




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Timeturner;

June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008

Layout;

Featuring: Footballers; Rakesh , Choon Kit , Bryan, Alvin , Elohim , Zhao Loong.
Designer: alvin
Coding: PeachMirage
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